Right now, im sitting on a toilet in some random suburb of chicago. Everyone else in my room has gone to bed so i dont have much to do but surf the net, so i thought i would try and gather some of my random thoughts together about hardcore. Im a few beers in, so its not going to be a acredited essay or anything. I just want to express how i feel about the subject at hand. So starting off, i just want to say that hardcore is one of the most important things in my life. I seriously hold it so high over everything else. No matter how shitty things get, its never that bad because hardcore still remians awesome. bands like crime in stereo, sinking ships, and bane have got me throught so many shitty situations. it doesnt matter if its girl problems or just frustration with soceity, i know there is a song out there for me.
I guess I will start off discussing how i first got into the core and what not. The first hardcore band i actually really got into was hatebreed. I remember buying "circus" magazine and seeing interviews with hatebreed and talking about "satisfaction is the death of desire". I didnt know much about the band, but they had a track on a nu metal comp called "tattoo the earth". It was the first recorded version of "i will be heard". I really wanted to give them a shot. so i listened to that track over and over, and after a few listens it was over. I remember buying a megazine with an ad for perserverance and it displayed a release date. So I did what I could and bought it within the first 3 days of its release. At this point hardcore was a whole new game to me, i was used to shitty new metal with super catchy hooks and shitty ballads. 25 minutes of yelling was hard to get used to at first. I remember immediately regreting buying that album. but i gave it a chance, and with every listen, it made more sense. "this is for the kids who have no where to turn, and have nothing to live for" that was me. As a grade 10 loner, I hated everyone in my school. and hatebreed helped me justifiy that hate. It made me realize that i was glad to not be like them, take pride in who i was. hatebreed helped me come alive. They also quickly became my favorite band. I remember listening to perserverance 3 or 4 times a day, i couldnt get enough of it. Every struggle that jamie jasta went through, I had something i could relate to. In may of 2002 i was searching the web and i came across a winnipeg concert listing site, and low and behold i found a hatebreed date for winnipeg. it was hatebreed, figure four, ensign and liqourd. I dont think i had been that excited about a "concert" since korn in 1999. Hatebreed was comming to town and it felt unreal. I had never been to a hardcore show before, so naturally i was pissed scared. I literally thought i was going to die. They had also just released the video for i will be heard, so that didnt give me much confidence. I remember begging my mom to let me go, and having her finially say yes. it was unreal, I was finally going to get to see hatebreed, my favorite band at the time. I convinced my cousin and brother to come to the show with me since i didnt have any friends into hardcore at the time. They also didnt know anything about hardcore, so it was a whole new arena for us.
The best thing about the show was that I wore a hatebreed shirt to the show, not knowing that i was committing on of the biggest fashion fo-pas in hardcore. but either way i was stoked and scarred out of my mind. Getting there and seeing kids moshing for liqourd blew my mind. It was all started by some chubby kid in a strife shirt. I didnt know what was happening, but it freaked me out. It was so much more aggressive than the moshing i was used to, so needless to say i stayed away. Then ensign played, and they had a huge circle pit the entire time they played. It literally did not stop. Totally unreal. There set totally blew me away, i loved all the energy and anger. It was nice to see someone else who had a reason to yell. Next was figure four. I had heard them before and thought they were horrible. I was really surprised to see kids go absolutely insane for them. totally blew my mind, however i was loving every minute of it. Next up was the almighty hatebreed, I couldnt have been more excited and scarred in my life. I knew there was going to be a crazy circle pit for them so i stood right up front. They opened with "perseverance" and i immediately got chills down my back, it felt like he was screaming every word directly at me, just the greatest feeling ever. And its a feeling i have been chasing ever since that day. Ever since that day i have been hooked on hardcore. It was the coolest thing i had ever experienced, and i wanted to tell the world how amazing it was. I remember telling everyone that i met how amazing that "concert" was, and how they sh0uld really check hatebreed out. It took me a while to realize that people didnt care, but that didnt hinder my opinion of it was so ever. if anything it just made it more appealing. Hardcore was something that i had and you didnt. It was a new hobby, a new obsession, something to take over that last fad i was into. That day changed my life, and i am forever greatful for it. Hatebreed turned me onto one of the greatest things that one can experiance in life. well, if they are lucky enough.
